Thursday, February 21, 2013

OOTD | The Non-Magical World of Not Harry Potter

 Jacket: Nordie's | Old Navy: Sweater | Jeans: Gap | Flats: ShoeMint | Scarf: Target | Earrings: F21

I'm snuggling on the couch with the dogs (ask me if I'm wearing pants. The answer is no) during some seriously gross weather wondering why I thought leaving Harry Potter world was a good idea.

It wasn't.

Somehow, I woke up on Monday morning (at three in the morning because my parents didn't consider the ramifications of a 6am flight) with an entire mouth of cold sores. Since I consider it highly unlikely that I contracted herpes while on a family vacation with my parents (one of which believes, much like the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and the Windex, that Purell wipes are the cure to all life's evils) I'm going to go with God is smiting me for ever daring to leave Hogsmeade.

If you've ever wondered if "fully blood-blistered lips and two leprosy-esque cold sores" are ever going to be the next big thing, yeah no. I am so cute right now you have no idea.

Luckily I have a whole day to pull myself together (as in get a tan, and a mani/pedi, and these lips off mah face... the roots have to wait til next week) before my girlfraaan date tonight that will include MULTIPLE Fruit Loop martinis. And in my book, Loopy martinis are second only to butterbeer. And Jack Daniels, let's not get cray.

>> Formal Invitation Alert <<


Frankenweenie and I are crashing Chicago next Saturday! March 2nd for those of you getting down witcha bad iCal-selves. Expect live tweeting and Instagramming and horrible, horrible guilt come Budgeting Bloggers time. If you'll be anywhere in a six hour radius (I'm looking at you, L-Dawg!!) you should come to dinner! We have no details yet. I don't even know what I'm eating for breakfast yet. You in?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Harry Potter World & Other Adventures


"What did you do this weekend?" "Oh, just Hogsmeade. NBD."

Nerding out at Honeydukes. Her shirt: Your Mom's a Horcrux. My shirt: 99 Problems But a Snitch Ain't One.

YOU GUYS.

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, 1) sorry and 2) you probably already know where I was this weekend. Spoiler alert: HARRY. POTTER. WORLD.

There was Hogwarts-ing. There was butterbeer-ing. There was Three Broomstick-ing. There was Ollivander-ing. There was Honeydukes-ing and Zonko's-ing, Bertie Bott's-ing and chocolate frog-ing. There was Hogwarts Express-ing. Dervish and Banges-ing. Dramatically overpriced wand-ing and robe-ing.

I had a little bit of tunnel vision before the trip, what with visions of butterbeer dancing in my head, so not only did I forget to check the weather before I packed, but I had no idea that Universal Studios also included these gems:


Barney the dinosaur, with Baby Bop gettin' down with her bad self.


JURASSIC MF'IN PARK.
P.S. I'm getting married here. You're all invited. I'm walking down the aisle to the theme song and the decor is "velociraptor chic." Dad said if I can find a man who'll marry me at Jurassic Park, he'll pay for it.

Challenge accepted.


Because well... Sam, I am.


And if you've ever sought confirmation on that whole "the nut doesn't fall far from the tree" thing, this one's for you.


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day! Or Not.

Happy Valentine's Day my love kittens!

On the one hand, you have the me's of the world: let's celebrate love! If we can dedicate a day to the fact that a furry woodland creature can predict the weather better than a team of meteorologists then we can dedicate a day to love! I love love no matter if I'm single or taken or some messy place in between! Valentine's Day has literally always been my favorite holiday because my birthday is the 13th and so I thought the world decked itself out in red and pink and hearts and my class threw a party just for me.

And also, Die Hard is out today. So I feel like that makes Valentine's Day 2013 especially hard to hate.

On the other hand, there's the "I hate the corporatization and commercialization of Valentine's Day!" "You can't manufacture real love!" "This is just a ploy to get your money!" "This is a day made up by women so when a man screws it up he has to spend the rest of the year making up for it!



As my friend explained to her grade school class when one of her students came up and said a boy tried to kiss her: "Kissing spreads germs. Germs are how we get sick. Do you like to throw up? No? Then don't kiss anyone."

But no matter who you are, if you hate memes you hate freedom.



Tuesday, February 12, 2013

OOTD | How to Pick Up Dudes. And Beads.

 Top: F21 | Pants: F21 | Heels: Nine West Booboo | Beads: wait for it... | Ring: F21

So this is how one wears beads to class on Mardi Gras when one is feeling particularly classy.
The looks I got today. It's like we work in a professional field or something. Yeesh.

Also, for some reason, I equate Mardi Gras with both beads and black and white stripes of some kind. Is this a thing or did I just make it up? Because obviously, I lied to you guys when I said yesterday my Mardi Gras outfit included feathers. It didn't. I saw this skirt and my heart went pitter patter and that's just how I get dressed.

Let the next pictures be a lesson unto you: never rush the self tanning process. Holy oompalegs!

Jacket: Black Rivet via HauteLook | Tank: TJMaxx | Skirt: F21 | Flats: Ivanka Trump Annulia | Beads: ... keep waiting... | Ring: F21 | Earrings: F21

And now, at long last, I present to you:
"How to Bring All the Boys/Mardi Gras Beads to the Yard, Sans Milkshake"

... there it is.

Try that face and report back to let me know how it goes.

OH AND HEY I'M TWENTY FIVE TODAY!
Bring on the car insurance discounts and the countdown until retirement. Amiright?!


 pleated poppy

Monday, February 11, 2013

OOTD | It's a Plaid Plaid Plaid Plaid World

Shirt: Zara | Pants: LC Lauren Conrad | Heels: Sam Edelman Portney | Necklace: F21 | Watch: Fossil | Bracelet: Target

Alternate title: How To Repeat An Outfit Without "Repeating" An Outfit
(Because let's face it... this outfit and this outfit are twinsies.)

In other news... HAPPY MARDI GRAS! I can't wait to show you guys my outfit. Hint: feathers. And beads, obvi. And in OTHER news, MY BIRTHDAY IS WEDNESDAY! And I can't wait to show you that outfit either. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I may or may not have made spice cupcakes yesterday and I may or may not intend on eating them with/for every meal until the end of time through Wednesday. Vegetables?! Ain't nobody got time for that!

Hair & Beauty | My Favorite Hair Products


"That's why her hair is so big... it's full of secrets."
NOT ANYMORE! Here's all my secrets... and if my hair falls flat I'm blaming you guys.


Neutrogena Triple Moisture Shampoo, $5.99 drugstore.com
I don't spend money on shampoo - only on conditioner. I have crazy overprocessed hair, so really it's a miracle I'm not washing it in body lotion at this point. This stuff is close, without being greasy. Or you know, smelling like lotion. I also really like the L'Oreal Evercreme sulfate free shampoo which is $6.99. Big spenda!

MOROCCANOIL Intense Hydrating Mask, $54.40 moroccanoil.com
I know fifty bucks for conditioner seems INSANE, but you can usually get it on Amazon for like $30 and I picked mine up at Beauty Brands for around that much. Honestly though, I'd pay whatever they told me to. I'd sell my firstborn child or my liver or maybe even my Portney pumps (but let's be real I probably wouldn't go that far). This stuff is non-negotiable. I use it every single time I shower.

But if you reeeealllly can't swing thirty dolla dolla bills on conditioner right now, the Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Recovery Mask is almost as good. Almost.

Nexxus Humectress Luxe Leave-in Spray, $12.49 drugstore.com
I don't always use leave-in spray, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis Nexxus.
I mostly use it on days when I blowdry my hair but I don't have anywhere to be and don't want to straighten it, or when I know I'm going to be using a lot of heat I spray it on every night before bed. It tames my puffy ends and makes them feel awesome. Whether it does any lasting good, I have no idea.

Neuma Argan Oil, $19 HairCareUSA.com
(Order at your own risk here, I had a hard time finding it online and I have no idea if this site is reputable)
The lady who used to do my hair insisted that I get this stuff. I pay $22 for 2.5 ounces at my salon, and I'm not joking you, it lasts for more than 6 months. Like way more, easy. (Skip to 1:30, thank me later) I didn't time it or anything but at some point you reach for the bottle expecting it to be empty and you're all, wait, you're still here? You only need a pump or two. I put it on super wet hair and let it air dry for awhile before I blowdry.

Tresemme Thermal Creations Heat Tamer spray, $4.75 drugstore.com
This is another one that I use every day. I go back and forth on using the argan oil, but if hot tools are coming anywhere near me, I preemptively cover my neck in bandaids and spray this stuff all over my hair.

Tresemme Tres Two hairspray, $5.49 drugstore.com
Forgot to picture this, but I love me some hairspray. That scene in Rock of Ages where Julianne Hough is spraying her faux hawk? (Here at 1:22) That's me before class every morning. I'm a walking 80s hair band. I love this spray, but I also love L'Oreal Elnett - I just like the price on the Tresemme a little better ($5.49 vs. $14.99).


Some of you have asked how I do my bangs and how I curl my hair generally, which I find hilarious because it's basically a tutorial on how to give oneself multiple third degree burns. But at any rate, if I rocked out with my vlog out, would that be worth it to you guys? Let me know - and let me know in the comments if there are any miracle products out there that I'm missing!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

OOTD | I Love the 90s

Denim vest with sweatshirt hood: TJMaxx | Sonic the Hedgehog backpack: Walmart | Neon hightops: Target | Ridiculous glasses: TJMaxx

So this happened last night. And since you never quite know what trend is going to crop up next, I figured I'd be ahead of the curve if looking like a 12-year-old boy suddenly comes into style. As you may suspect from this picture, the night ended with me pulling my friend (who does not actually look like Chuckie Finster but who may want to be gainfully employed one day) around on his Rollerblades with his Nintendo remote hooked to my Sonic backpack.

But the highlight, by far, was discovering the Fruit Loop martini, a concoction that comes complete with a spoon and a crushed Fruit Loop rim, and actually tastes like the milk at the bottom of your Fruit Loop bowl. Breakfast (alcoholism?) will never be the same.

What are your favorite songs/shows/movies/things from the nineties?! I'm a 90s music enthusiast, which means at any given time I've probably got LFO, the Goo Goo Dolls, the Spice Girls, and Fatboy Slim on a playlist together somewhere. And don't get me started on the Ninja Turtles. I'm still bitter that I never got a puffy shell backpack for my birthday.

Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend :)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

OOTD | I Wear Your Granddad's Clothes

Jacket: Ali & Kris | Tee: F21 | Jeans: American Eagle | Shoes: Dolce Vita Lunna | Bullet necklace: ASOS | Watch: Fossil | Spike bracelet: ASOS

... at least if your gramps is the type to wear camo and loafers at the same time.
(And if you didn't catch on... I'm obsessed with this video. Especially 0:58... I die.)
^Don't click that if you're anti-rap music. Or the F word. Or adorable children on rap videos.

I've been consciously focusing on expanding my collection of flats. As a heels girl, it's hard for me to take off the stiletto-goggles when I shop -- seriously, it's like I have tunnel vision. But I'm starting to trust that flats that are "me" will jump off the page/rack and slap me in the face when I see them, and will therefore jump off my feet and slap everyone around me in the face with their Sam-ness when I wear them. And deep down, that's kind of what I want everything in my closet to do.

So the moral of the story? It's either "the shoes" (like "the one") will find you when you're not looking OR buy things that slap you.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

OOTD | The Problem With Pinterest

Sweater: F21 | Jeans: Gap | Shoes: Sam Edelman Portney | Scarf: apt. 9, I think | Watch: Fossil

I pinned this outfit awhile back and have been holding off on wearing it because I didn't have leopard print booties. Then Shanna went for it and I realized how ridiculous I'm being every time I "save" an outfit until I have the perfect piece. I love my leopard pumps! I love my red scarf! What the HELL am I waiting for? Oh, and my black jeans had dog hair all over them before I made it from the bedroom to the bathroom. So I wore my new favorite jeans (again). And the world/Pinterest did not explode. And I loved this outfit.

Someone who's awesome at this is J at J's Everyday Fashion. Girl has a knack for looking at a photo and creating an outfit inspired by it rather than a carbon copy of it. (Let's face it, she's pretty great at the carbon copies too!) I feel like Pinterest can really give you a complex if you take it too seriously, so here's to actually wearing some of that inspiration I've spent so much time collecting!

Sidenote: it's amazing what a fake tan can do for seasonal depression! Some of my favorites: St. Tropez foam (for instant color with minor rub-off) and Tan Towels (for more lasting color) or L'oreal Sublime tan towels (for a cheaper option). Sign up for eBates and get 6% cashback from drugstore.com!


 pleated poppy

OOTD | Snake in the Grass

Sweater: Target | Pants: Zara | Shoes: Nine West Booboo | Scarf: Target | Bullet necklace: ASOS

Bought these pants at Zara this weekend while visiting my roommate. Because who can say no to leathery olivey python-ey goodness in angsty zippered form?! Not this girl.

When I was little, I put a toy rubber snake and in my dad's shower. (I took a lot of joy in exploiting his only known fear.) He almost slipped and died trying to sprint out to the garage and get a shovel to kill it. Another time, on a canoe trip, I talked a friend into putting a baby snake in his beer cooler. It tried to bite him.

Let's get something straight. I don't kill my own spiders. I don't enjoy the dark. I'm pretty sure the only time I was ever brave (or a wannabe criminal mastermind) as a child was when I was plotting against dad. So this outfit's to you, oh slayer-of-plastic-snakes. Thanks for resisting the urge to use that shovel on me instead.


Monday, February 4, 2013

OOTD | Anticlimactic

Jacket: Nordie's | Tee: Gap | Jeans: Gap | Flats: Ivanka Trump | Bullet necklace: ASOS | Cuff: Charlotte Russe | Watch: Fossil | Handcuff bracelet: ASOS | Rings: F21

And no I'm not talking about the Superbowl. ZING!

So that outfit I've been dying to wear all 30 for 30? The one I made you wait all weekend for?!
This is it. I would wear this all day errday.
Cargo jacket, new boyfriend jeans, sparkly flats, funky jewelry.

If nothing else, 30 for 30 always helps me focus on what feels like me. I've been following along (haven't we all?) with Audrey's Wardrobe From Scratch posts (and Frankydoodledandy's, too!) and I'm just so caught up in this idea of a closet makeover. After five months of blogging and two 30 for 30's, I'm finally getting a handle on what pieces in my closet look good and feel good. I'm seriously debating taking about three months' budget and just revamping my closet from the ground up. Total purge - everything mediocre out, replacements in. That's sort of the way my mind works though - once I know what I want, I want it now.

Patience has never been my virtue.
That, and this: some girls get a haircut after a breakup. I work on my closet. Though after seeing how hot Jess looks as a redhead, I must say, I considered it.

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